Thanks and venting

Thanks to everyone for your heartfelt prayers on
my behalf. It has been a challenging week. I am
home from the hospital and doing ok. I am about
to start climbing the walls though....not used to being
home (and down) all day. ARGHHHHH! I still have
all 12 bloodclots in my lungs (love the CT machine-
highlight of my week). I'm frustrated with my
inability to do daily tasks (like walk up the stairs!)
I'm having a hard time getting enough O2 and
they can't get my blood to thin out fast enough.
I still have to give myself injections of Lovenox
twice a day. My belly looks like I joined an MMA fight!
Good thing I have plenty of subcutaneous tissue to
inject into!!!
My recovery is going to be really slow,
or so they tell me. (I don't have time for slow!!!). I had to
have another blood draw this morning and thinking
I was feeling better, attempted to stop and get milk
at the commissary on my way home. Walk in and out-
no big deal right! Apparently it was a little much for
my body to handle and I had another syncopal episode
(passed out) in the parking lot (really embarrassed!).
Again- ARGHHHHH!!!! It was just milk for Heaven's
Sake!!!!!!
I keep getting told how lucky I am to still be alive and
fully functioning....that I didn't have a stroke, heart
attack or aneuryism. I am truly grateful, but am having
difficulty being patient with whatever the Lord wants
me to learn from this. I know it's only been a week, but
right now I can't even do basic
tasks, like take a shower, without going into tachycardia.
I've watched every episode of NCIS and Hogan's Heroes
ever made. My eyeballs may pop out of my head and
I think my IQ is dropping by the minute.
How am I supposed to be the mom of three and a wife?
Not to mention my other responsibilities like my Job!
I have difficulty with patience!!! Have None! that's why
I'm not a teacher like the rest of my Sainted family.
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better. I'm really
not trying to look the gift horse in the mouth. I'm
just really frustrated and tired of being tired.